..

I'm sorry that there was about 5 different posts.. they have been from probably october till now..... just wasn't ready to share until now.. They have been drafts for so long

A Soul Growing up

So for the first time, ever in every single relationship I've had.. . I've never wanted something like this  . I dont want to cheat, I dont want another man to touch me. The is no intrigue, nor rush, nothing.. ( And I'm sorry but my past is not the best )...  But I just want him...
And he doesn't want me.. at least sexually he doesn't and I've never had that happen ever... I  want to make love to him I want to kiss him, on his back on his neck, all over ... But yet I find myself almost begging for sex  almost every night.. To only get the showing of love that I long for maybe twice a week..
I feel rejected
Ugly
Not good in bed
He no longer is attracted to me
Not pleasurable

I don't know how to say this problem without being played out to be a hussie.... but lets just say I'm amazing in bed and he is basically the only one that has EVER denied me...


After all this turmoil and tough childhood, and rough marriages, and divorces.. Why  or why... Do I have this man that I love so unconditionally that I will never ever cheat  or even think about kissing another man....., And he Not want me.

Welcome to depression.....

This new scary beginning.

......  ..... Insert a ....." I love my Life" ........ here.....
Life is fuckin hard
You make wrong choices
And sometimes .... You are at a loss of where your going....At
that time you have to breathe... and let the universe decide......